Sometimes it still feels like a dream.
That you and me both shared on a blissful night.
I can still feel the touch of you hand,
the feel of your touch,
the embrace of your kiss.
Maybe it was all a dream.
Shared in a cloud, dreamt up in the most magnificent of ways.
My dream of you,
while split in the past,
will teach me more about myself than any other experience.
The intoxication of your laugh,
your smell,
your warmth on my shoulder,
will always be with me and not just in a dream.
No matter how close or how far,
your kiss,
your body,
your heart,
your mind,
will always be my dream. 
You took my breath away,
and left a lasting mark upon my heart.
This dream I'll cherish,
and I'll always be dreaming,
of you in the light of the doorway
with a smile on your face
and my heart in you possession.

-h

Heavy breath
Green felt
The essence of you
It fills my lungs
Grips my heart
Illuminates the darkest parts of my soul.
Heavy breath
Feels like shaking
Walls closing in
My heart is yours for the taking
The soft remnant of you
Spelled with cedar
Maybe it was me
I'd never leave her
Heavy breath
It's all you've got now
It's all you have left.

Dear Principal Nobles,

First off, I’d like to congratulate you on your promotion to Principal at the best high school/learning institution in Okaloosa County and in the State of Florida.  As a former Eagle, I pride myself in my alma mater and everything I do in life, I know was built on the relationships, knowledge, and foundations set forth by Niceville High.  I love being an Eagle, and that is why I am writing you about one of the greatest Eagles NHS ever had grace it’s halls.  Kelly McHugh was the be all, end all for not only Niceville Ladies Soccer, she was also a terrific academic student and fierce friend.  Unfortunately, we lost Kelly earlier this month.  Her family feels the strain of losing their daughter everyday and her friends feel it just as much.  Kelly was amazing in everything that she did.  Whether it would be organizing an event at her house to prevent kids from underage drinking, being a very active member in the community through Key and EN, or establishing her Legend status by helping NHS win a State Championship in Ladies Soccer.  I can still remember Kelly in 3rd period Economics our senior year correct someone by saying, “It isn’t Girls Soccer, it’s ladies Soccer.  We win and we win with Class.”  That was Kelly through and through.  The most caring individual I know just so happened to be the greatest Ladies Soccer player in NHS’ history.  Her name was Kelly McHugh. 

Principal Nobles, I was hoping that with your valuable time you would read what I wrote to you about Kelly and about how much she meant to not only the class of 2002 but to Niceville High School as well.  Kelly, like myself, loved being an Eagle.  In this day and age her Facebook profile picture album featured her going around the world in her NHS Soccer hoodie.  That is why I wrote you today.  I am formally requesting that you and the NHS board consider renaming the soccer practice field across John Sims Pkwy, “Kelly McHugh Field”.  I know that there is plenty of red tape with things like this.  But I can’t think of something more fitting for someone more deserving.  I don’t make this request simply because I miss my friend or the fact that I want to do something for her, I do this because I am an Eagle and I honor all my Eagles.  I make this request to you because Kelly McHugh was not only proud of being an Eagle, but because she might’ve been one of the greatest Eagles of all-time.

If there is anything I can do to facilitate something like this or questions I can answer.  Please let don’t hesitate to contact me at [email protected] or 850-517-6847.  As an honor to Kelly, I’d love to handle this matter and bankroll it if need be. 

Thank you again for your time.

Always an Eagle,

J. Christopher Hoffman

c/o 2002

How is it the the easiest emotion is the most complicated? Why is loving someone viewed as a task? Sure there is tons of hard work involved and many trials and tribulations along the way. The true answer is human error. Your love, someone else's love for you, everyone's love for every and anything; all are the first victims of human error. Maybe it's because love is so fragile that the slightest nuance can bring it almost a crumble. Maybe it s simple because of recklessness and unclear minds. But more often than not, it's due to simple numb-skullery. Not putting things before yourself and not saying "how will my action be viewed at by the ones I love?" You have to be a nurturer in order to succeed at loving anything. There are times it will test your composure and your emotions, but the most rewarding is not the redemption of yourself but the insatiable feeling of knowing someone was better because you were there. If you love someone, you'll stick through all of it, no matter how tough the issue or how big the problem. In the end, the juice will always be worth the squeeze and your heart will triumph in knowing another's has been rectified. Don't run. Stay. Stand. And when the time comes always deliver.

-H

You know...I'm a lot more like you than you probably think. You think I don't get pissed or display some aggression? The truth is, I do, and like a lot of things I do, I do it quite well. Here is the major difference though, it is that I try to not rush to judgement, I try to not quickly over react, I try to not put myself in positions where someone will get hurt by my words. You see, I'm not like most guys in the sense that I actually give a shit about not hurting someone, especially the ones I care about. I even try to tell myself to think before I speak, not just say things that justify me while pointing out the insecurities of someone to simply make my point. That's petty. That's not me. But being passionate and caring and sometimes overtly sensitive...yeah, that's me. You see, I don't need to be aggressive, mean, or even insensitive to make myself know what passion is, I simply go about it with an open mind and let myself feel it like a real fuckin' man does. Sometimes that gets me into trouble, heart-wise and head-wise, but if I've learned anything about myself it's that I wouldn't change me just like I wouldn't want to change anyone I love. I've learned a ton, and I owe it all to how I've felt and how I've reacted. I think I know enough now to know that how you react is not conducive to how you handle everything, but it is a testament to your character. In the face of adversity, strife, pain, loss, etc. how did you fare? Did you "man up" and control yourself, say the things that needed to be said whilst keeping respect for yourself and the others involved as well, maybe letting your aggression and mean streak be an asset but not a definition if who you are, OR were you the insensitive, fly-by-night, bury-it-all person who could never satisfy the deeper needs of your woman. You want aggression? This is aggression... Fuck those other guys.
Those guys that stay in their closed off comfort zones, who vaguely comprehend the physical, dilute the mental, and selfishly avoid the emotional aspects of any type of relationship. Am I perfect? Fuck no, not by a long shot. But I can say, honestly, there isn't another guy out there that is as man as me, that knows how and when to put himself aside because someone else needs him, there is no one who knows how to sacrifice, satisfy, please, and respect his woman better than me, and there is damn sure no one else as aggressive as I am when it comes to loving the people I love. No One! Some call it cockiness, I'll call it truth. Part of discovering yourself is comprised of 3 things; realizing your only human and you have flaws, discovering that being you is enough and loneliness isn't the end of the world, and finally relishing how fuckin' fantastic you are. A real man is in touch with every emotion he has and he displays them but never let's them rule him. He doesn't succumb to those that are weaker and want to bring him down. He simply does what he does and keeps being himself, keeps being the solid rock of dependability, and proving everyone wrong. That is basic character. And In the end, it's character that will define us.

-H

"Letting go" is one of the most important steps to growing emotionally. Whether it be internally or externally, literally or figuratively, falling in love, or saying goodbye. They all involve the same step...letting go. We must let go of the ones that probably aren't the best for us or in some cases the ones for which we aren't the best. We must let go of our own foolish pride in order to fully see and understand ourselves and embrace the jump that love requires of us. And while that "jump" or "letting go" can be a scary thought, sometimes the things that seem scary might be the most fun, exciting, and rewarding things we can do. It is when we master the art of letting go, that the things that are worth holding on to become much more evident.

-H

I see the sea,
And I see you.
I see the dawn,
And I see you.
What is life without
Inspiration,
Without beauty,
Without love.

It's astonishing,
Watching you with her.
A little image of you,
That reflects everything great about you,
And everything wonderful about life.
Sometimes I get anxious
And even a bit scared.
But to watch you be everything
To someone
And that someone
Be your everything
Makes my heart stop,
My soul warm,
And my spirit smile.

-H

A smile has become a discovery
when your heart refuses to be.
Maybe it is elation,
Or jubilation,
Or maybe it is she.
And when she has to say goodbye for awhile,
you'll swallow the lump of heartache in your throat and you'll smile.
You smile
...because she was here
and she touched your heart,
if only for awhile.
You smile
...in the face of bewilderment
at how painful it is to watch that car get smaller and smaller
whilst knowing
should she never turn around
or come back,
That you are a better man
for simply knowing her
and the joy she brings.
A joy so many before took for granted.
You smile
...because you know in your heart you'll never devalue
her friendship,
her mind,
her soul,
her heart,
her love.
Those will never be taken for granted.
You will carry them as cherished memories for a lifetime.
You smile
...And you'll wonder aloud,
who knew such a tiny woman
could make me feel so big.
That
...will make you smile

-H

This is a test...
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